Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
