I wannas sexs uuuuu
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
