the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
