Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
