last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
