im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I got inside last night via doggy door
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
