i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
