yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
