i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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