My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
