this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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