dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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