u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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