loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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