Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
