I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
