So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
