I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
