I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize