I got chris browned last night
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
