She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
