But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
