On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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