I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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