Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
