One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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