Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize