I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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