You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
