i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
