Where did you get a picture of my penis
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
