he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Randomize
