Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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