Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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