so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
