In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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