I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
where are my eyebrows?
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