Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
