They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
