I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
