it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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