Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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