Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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