You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Send help, water and tortillas.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
