I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
