I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
