This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
