p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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