I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
