drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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