Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
