My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
