No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
