I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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