The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
