I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize