Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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