hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize